Blast from the Past: #187 of #365 A Prompt A Day For Bee ~ The Pain

April 2019

I can’t believe we are in April already. Hope you enjoy an old poem by me

December 2014

Such a long time since I have written a poem inspired by a song. Well, there was Rachmaninov at #frapalymo but that is not exactly the same.

Not quite sure what it is that makes music so inspirational. I think it speaks to us on different levels of our being and therefore frees your creative spark.

Right now, everything feels different. So often, I think about how I was a year ago, and it was a bad place I was in. After years of struggling with PTSD and not knowing, I did I broke down at last. The funny thing was that I felt safe at last. I felt like my life gets in a good direction, and I have developed good relationships with my family and friends.

I suspect it did not help that my grandmother who was very important to me passed away that year. Still, miss her terribly but on some level, she is still with me/us (she certainly has left her frugality in our minds and now our actions too 😉 ).

I also suspect that my soul, at last, felt it was safe enough to take care of itself. That’s what 2014 means to me: Having learned and learning to take good care of myself. You can achieve so much more when you are good to yourself.

This poem is a “Thank you!” to my therapist who nudged me to trust EMDR and allow deep healing at last. Two days ago I wrote a poem to a prompt about someone who has to shatter glass all the time because he/she is too shattered inside. I found it difficult to write about that. There is a pain in this world that you just cannot put into words. It is so deep that those who have to feel it only can feel fragments of it. And no matter how much healing they receive it will always stay with them.

I feel this pain and no matter how often I try to find words for it there are just none that could explain, conjure up or show how it feels like. Still, I try because that is the only way to deal with it. Face it day in day out and help those around me who feel it too.

Linkin Park’s music comes very close
to expressing the pain I was talking
about earlier up
The Pain
wide open
that shard
in the castle
so fragile
hide nothing
at all
of that
of all
that at
a soul
not broken
not yet
try as
they might

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