April 2019

Do some topics never change? Maybe I have several lessons still to learn… 😦

April 2015

A few weeks ago I started “SELF-Awareness Sunday” just to not do it for the next few Sunday’s. I seem to go through a profound change since I have hosted “Love Is In Da Blog“. Not sure why exactly that has kick-started a new cycle in healing but some things just do not need to be explained.

Now I seem to be back more and will keep this meme going because I think it is good to take a look at yourself every now and then. I realised I have not made clear rules/suggestions for taking part in SELF-Awareness Sunday. So I catch up with that now.

SELF-Awareness Sunday rules/suggestions

1. write a post about anything that makes you “YOU”: share experiences, show your art, enlighten us with your wisdom… you get the gist
2. the exact topic is entirely up to you and the posts are strictly Stream of Consciousness as I believe this way of writing gives you great insights in who you are and what is hidden underneath the surface
3. post it to your blog or as a comment on my SELF-Awareness Sunday post and tag it with “SELF-Awareness Sunday”
4. If you wrote a post put a ping back link to my “SELF-Awareness Sunday” post so that others can visit yours
5. Only post what you really want to share. There are things that come up which are not ready for the world yet. Please respect yourself in that point.
6. If anything frightening comes up and you feel like you need help don’t hesitate to get it via your health professional, spiritual guide etc. You can find help-lines here
7. Most of all enjoy the ride and trust the process! Your inner self and your gut will tell you exactly where you need to go 🙂
8. Now my darlings: go, create and have lots of fun 🙂

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I have always been one to do thorough introspection. At times I felt like that is a fault as it can lead to worrying about everything and nothing especially when you suffer from depression. From a very young age on I wanted to become a better person though and that is still who I am.

While doing “Love Is In Da Blog” I realised that my writing seems to have this effect on others as well as many participants allowed themselves to go to places they have not been for a while and it seemed to have given them a healing push. While reading their posts I realised that that was something I would like to do too: To encourage and enable others to become more who they are and to allow themselves to let go of what is bothering them.

Ever since I left school I am wondering what I really want to do for a job and how I really want to earn my money. Working in a supermarket clearly wasn’t on the agenda but well: life makes funny turns :-).

Lately, though I wonder if there is no job description that fits what I have come here to do. Maybe I have to carve out my own path and maybe all I have been through in my life has given me the experience I need. Maybe it has trained me to do this with respect, responsibility and love so I can be a blessing.

Writing this I can’t let go of that “How dare you” – feeling. How dare I think I could help others to become who they are when I still don’t know who I am? When I still struggle with depression, PTSD, negative thinking patterns and self-love. How dare I?

But maybe I have to dare. Maybe “life” is all the training I need and maybe I just have to allow myself to think big. Good grief that is frightening…..