J.R.R.Tolkien wrote either in “The Hobbit” or “Lord of the Rings” how any journey starts with taking the first step and then keep going.
I have started a journey of letting go. This seems a theme of my life. At 12 I had to let my mother go. At 17 my home for the first time to move with my father to my step-mum. The same year my first boyfriend. At 21 I left home for good. At 35 I left my first husband and at 37 the country I was born. I continuously started writing, blogging, photography simply to stop again. And then start again.
And recently I feel I am losing myself. I am not sure if that is a good or a bad thing. It’s not so bad to lose the scarcity thinking ego in an awakening experience but not so brilliant to lose your mind to Alzheimer’s.
However, why do I struggle so much with all this judging thing? I am happy where I am. So many things do not bother me as much as they used to. Like what people think of me, how long my hair is or if I followed all what I’ve planned.
I can go with the flow. However, something is missing and no matter how much I look and try I can’t find it. Still, I feel I am where I am supposed to be. It will all be ok as long as I set one foot in front of the other and listen to my breathing and my inner wisdom.
My card for 2021 Temperance/Balance depending on which set of cards I am working with ( I take the day of my birth plus the month (36) add this year 2021 (2057) and then add 2+5+7 =14) . This year’s topic was/is to combine opposites to create something new and unique. And that is what’s going on: my analytical and my intuitive mind seem to find a new balance. It’s all still new. Still a little shaky and foggy and unknown.
I allow myself to feel empowered to be. Simply be. Breathe. Set one foot in front of the other, do one task at a time and then see where it leads us/me.
It’s ok. I am ok. You are ok. And the world keeps turning no matter what we fear.
Please stay safe, stay kind and remember to simply be.
the-bee-writes.com 
Hopefully once you settle into boating life, the simplicity and tranquility of it will soothe you and you’ll find yourself. We wish we were on the boat now, even coming into winter.
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Thanks Di, that is my hope too. Have a lovely new week 🤗
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You too Bee.
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It seems very busy on the canals from what we can see at the moment 😊
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We only went on the canals once and that was to take the boat up for brokerage. Some places were busy, but we had no problem mooring overnight.
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I remember you saying that but it looks like life on the canals has changed a lot in the past year. We are still going for it. Just discussing if it is better to wait til spring 🤗
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We are aware that times have changed since we sold up, so I’m not surprised. With the winter months coming, it might pay to wait though apart from condensation problems (which everyone on a boat has, even if they’ve had double glazing fitted), we were cosy. The biggest drawback was when it rained and trying to dry our outdoor clothes, so we were glad of the helm and bow covers. We used film on the windows that you seal with a hairdryer to reduce the condensation, and made sure we had plenty of air flow under and around the bed, in the bathroom and cupboards. We learned as we went and discovered that cake boards made perfect bungs for our porthole windows!
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Cake boards? 😊 awesome 🤗. I can’t remember did you store your things somewhere before you got the boat? And were the canals close by? We are mainly watching Wilton and Venetian Marina for boats. That’s quite a way away from where we are currently. 🤗
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Here are our porthole stuffers
https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2016/04/24/project-porthole/
We’d already got rid of a lot of furniture etc when we knew we were going to downsize, so did have some stuff in storage when we moved out. When we bought the boat, we got rid of everything and sadly some things got sent to charity by mistake. We were on the River Avon at Tewkesbury Marina. Our licence only covered the Avon, but we could get up to Stratford Upon Avon which we did several times. We had to get a 7 day licence for the canals for brokerage though.
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Oh, the Avon is really nice. I saw several videos about it. We just decided that it’s probably better to wait until spring to sell the house and get a boat so we have some time to get sorted 🤗
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With the way things are going. this might be wise Bee.
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😊🤗
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It can be scary to feel like we’re losing ourselves. And you’ve been through some real scary s*** in your life, so I know you can do this. Sometimes a little unbalance can be good if we have a part of us that remains strong to the core. Then, it could be an opportunity for growth.
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Thanks so much for your kind words. It’s helps though to have lovely cheerleaders around. Thanks for being one 🤗😊🤗
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