J.R.R.Tolkien wrote either in “The Hobbit” or “Lord of the Rings” how any journey starts with taking the first step and then keep going.
I have started a journey of letting go. This seems a theme of my life. At 12 I had to let my mother go. At 17 my home for the first time to move with my father to my step-mum. The same year my first boyfriend. At 21 I left home for good. At 35 I left my first husband and at 37 the country I was born. I continuously started writing, blogging, photography simply to stop again. And then start again.
And recently I feel I am losing myself. I am not sure if that is a good or a bad thing. It’s not so bad to lose the scarcity thinking ego in an awakening experience but not so brilliant to lose your mind to Alzheimer’s.
However, why do I struggle so much with all this judging thing? I am happy where I am. So many things do not bother me as much as they used to. Like what people think of me, how long my hair is or if I followed all what I’ve planned.
I can go with the flow. However, something is missing and no matter how much I look and try I can’t find it. Still, I feel I am where I am supposed to be. It will all be ok as long as I set one foot in front of the other and listen to my breathing and my inner wisdom.
My card for 2021 Temperance/Balance depending on which set of cards I am working with ( I take the day of my birth plus the month (36) add this year 2021 (2057) and then add 2+5+7 =14) . This year’s topic was/is to combine opposites to create something new and unique. And that is what’s going on: my analytical and my intuitive mind seem to find a new balance. It’s all still new. Still a little shaky and foggy and unknown.
I allow myself to feel empowered to be. Simply be. Breathe. Set one foot in front of the other, do one task at a time and then see where it leads us/me.
It’s ok. I am ok. You are ok. And the world keeps turning no matter what we fear.
Please stay safe, stay kind and remember to simply be.