All That Pain

Salam Alaykum, my dear fellow virtual travelers. Are you ready for more travels with Mallory and Bianca? It needed me much longer than anticipated to get back into the groove but here we are:


I want to mention one thing: The story does live in an alternate universe where we do not have to bother with COVID. There are political and environmental issues that are similar to our reality but all are made up. Please forgive me. Please check out here if you missed the previous Mallory & Bianca installments.

“What on Earth?” Bianca looked up from the video she was just watching:

video credit: Geography Now via YouTube

At the other end of their camp in the desert stood Mallory on a dune. Her hair was waving in the wind and her arms were stretched wide. Mallory screamed. “No,” thought Bianca ” It’s more a howl. Heartbreaking. ”

She pushed her phone back in her pocket and ran over to Mallory whose haunting sound scapes reverbarated throught the camp. The sun started to sink. ” Thank goodness we are the only guests” Bianca thought.

Out of the corner of her eyes she saw some of the employees storming out of the sand coloured tents but she turned and waved them back in. Whatever it was that bothered Mallory could not be sorted with a drink or a bath. They looked at each other, then shrugged and went back in. ” Probably not the first time a European lost their marbles in the vastness of the desert” Bianca thought.

” I should have brought my jumper” Bianca reached the bottom of the dune and started climbing it cautiously. ” The wind is so cold here in the evening. You wouldn’t think we are in a desert”. When she reached Mallory , the younger woman had crumpled to the ground. Bianca carefully sat down beside her and put a hand on Mallories shoulders.

Mallory didn’t move. She just rested her head on one of her arms and stared into the distance. Bianca said nothing. She just sat there with her hand on Mallory and consciously breathed in and out. Slowly the tension left Mallories body. ” So much pain!” She said eventually. ” So, so much pain.” Mallory sighed and sat up. She looked at Bianca. Bianca shivered because she could see all the pain in Mallory’s eyes.

“It’s not just me. Me and Viviene. She…” Bianca took Mallory’s hand. ” She wasn’t nice.” Mallory went on. ” I… I never told anyone. But it’s not just that. So much violence everywhere. Domestic, war, industrial farming… everything simply seems to be so brutal!” She began sobbing again. Bianca moved closer and took the younger woman in her arms. She lighty stroked Mallory’s head and let her cry.

After a while she said: “How can we not see all this brutality?” Mallory sat up and embraced herself. ” It’s… everywhere. Books, films, games… and we just think it’s OK. It’s not, isn’t it?” Mallory looked at Bianca and again Bianca shivered. ” No, it’s not” Bianca agreed quietly. ” Mallory, breathe. Slowly out and in… out and in… out and in…”

Bianca repeated the breathing instructions quietly for a very long time. At first, Mallory sobbed again but after a couple of minutes she sat up straight, closed her eyes and followed Bianca’s instructions. The camp employees brought a iron pan in which they made a fire when night fully fell. But Bianca and Mallory kept resting and breathing. When the full moon rose Mallory smiled and Bianca stopped.

“That was… uhm…” Mallory shook her head like she wanted to wave something away. ” That helped so much!” “I know” Bianca answered. ” helped me let go of sorrow many times. You cannot keep all yhat sorrow in your body. With every out breath you let it go… ” ” But let it go where?” Mallory fell in Bianca’s words”

” Whereever you feel it can go and be transformed into something more positive: back into the earth, out into the universe, to nature, the gods or whichever is for you a higher power.” Mallory looked incredulous. ” You know I am not into that sort of stuff” Bianca smiled. “Maybe you should” She said and stood up. ” Are you coming to the story teller event? It’s 1001 Night’s” ” OK!” They went together to the biggest tent a little to the right of them and sat down on huge cushions when the story began:

video credit: I.M. Plant via YouTube

When the storyteller was finished they played some music.

video source: Fantasy & World Music by Fiechters via YouTube

Both women were fast asleep when the musicians left.

Thanks, my dears, for staying with me until the end.

I appreciate your presence.

Please stay safe, stay kind and remember that you rock!

3 thoughts on “All That Pain

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