This post was first published in October 2015 and I am re-posting it on that date. It is about where I was then not an actual situation of mine:
It’s 2:30 am where I live, and I woke up at 1 am when my husband had to get up. Usually, I just turn around and go back to sleep but lately I am troubled by nightmares and some physical problems, and I just can’t go back to sleep.
A few months ago I had promised myself not to write about depression and being a survivor anymore. I felt that it’s time to move on and just concentrate on things that I am interested in and that make me feel good. At the same time, I felt like I couldn’t write and needed a break from blogging and concentrate on reading.
It felt like whining about what I was writing. And I still feel like I’m just whining, but it struck me as odd that I stopped writing the moment I decided not to write about depression anymore.
On Monday, it was awful. I started crying for no reason, and I worried that I would go back into a really bad state. But maybe that was the blood moon. It’s better now. In general I have developed an attitude of: ” Ok, just another run: write diary, take your tablets and be gentle with yourself and it will go away like always!”
But it’s not something nice to deal with time and time again. It uses so much energy to function. The energy I would love to use for happier things. There is no point though in worrying about it. No matter how I feel about depression, it’s part of my life.
It is part of me and ignoring it won’t make it go away nor will it make my blogging better. Besides I am not alone. There are so many others out there who struggle with the same and maybe, just maybe they are glad to hear that someone out there goes through a rough patch too.
Is it presumptuous to feel like that? Is it “taking myself serious” or just another whining blogger who can’t think about writing about anything else but her woes? What do you think?
the-bee-writes.com 
Not whining. Not presumptuous. Courageous to reach for the connection, for the hope of touching the heart of another. Every such post is a victory unto itself. Our greatest successes are sometimes unacknowledged. It does not, however, make them any less triumphant.
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Thank you very much for your encouragement 🙂
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Bee, NO- it’s not presumptious- others struggling with depression feel comforted because someone can relate. It’s not whining (although if you are depressed it seems that way through your skewed lens). I can very much relate. I’ve struggled with depression my whole adult life and I am trying to find the right treatment. Feel better (HUG)
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You are a star. Thank you for your encouragement. I know the feeling of looking for the right treatment. So far the best that works for me is a mix of therapy, St. Johnsworth ( the chemical antidepressants usually make it worse, meditation and writing. But you need to keep doing these things and that’s what depression makes hard. Take care of yourself!
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Thanks for calling me a star, it made me feel all sparkly inside 😀
I’m glad you found some things that help you. I’ve found my minimum essentials are: therapy, meds, good sleep, vigorous exercise, human contact (massage/touch), dancing, singing, and yes…writing! Without any one of those things it’s easy to spiral down. Sometimes it happens despite all those things, unfortunately.
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You are very welcome for the star 🙂 It’s apleasure :-). I certainly have to add exercise to mine but I’m not there yet :-). And yes sometimes it just happens anyway. That’s why I have started thinking: just get on with it. It gets better eventually 🙂
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sending you hugs!! 🙂
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Thanks honey and to you too 🙂
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You are doing good Bee, you know what help you and try to stick to that 🙂
When I were, where you are now, I got to know that I should try exercising and see if it also helped me. I must admit, that I never thought that I would like to go to one of those fitness centers, but it was really the best I ever did for myself, while my depression was very bad. I used a cross trainer and added more minutes every time 3 days at week for months. This helped me out of the depression together with at least a half hours walk in daylight daily. Maybe it can help you too.
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Hi Irene, funny that I try to get myself to exercise since a few months. Not there yet though. I manage more and more to go for a walk and I think the rest will come in time. But yes it makes such a difference. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
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It is always good to write about depression. 💜
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I suspect I was in a transformation phase then towards overcoming it and that’s why I felt not to write about it any more 🤗 but you are right. It’s always good to share 😊
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Yes it will always help someone 💜
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You are not whining and I for one always appreciate your honesty!
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Thank you very much 🙋♀️🐝
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